Another common mistake are texts with information overload. We keep writing about how amazing our offer is, hoping the customer finds something in those sentences that triggers them to choose us. The point is: no one wants to struggle and navigate through such a text. Dr. Tom Sant conducted a study on which proposal recipients actually read. There was a proposal of 25 pages, 50 pages, and 100 pages. Which proposal do you think everyone picked up first? Exactly, the first one.
The lesson: write compactly and persuasively. Show that you understand the customer’s needs and that you can solve them effectively. Support this with concrete evidence and leave those thick texts from your competitors behind, because you’ve shown that you understand the client and can serve them well without unnecessary complications.
The words in your proposal matter. Both the amount and the type of words you use matter. We established earlier that readers appreciate brief and simple. But instead, we often use these four text styles which go completely against what clients want to read.
Broad terms
The first is the use of broad terms. These are words that are thrown around in a text without much meaning or consideration. It’s not that you can never use these words, but sometimes adding colour to your text is necessary. Use them selectively however, to avoid selling empty phrases. If you use broad terms, at least clarify what you mean by them. Saying you’re reliable means nothing. After all, no one will admit to being unreliable in a proposal. That is not a distinguishing quality on its own. Explain therefore how you prove your reliability. Broad terms that are often used in proposals include:
- Quality
- Flexible
- Creative
- Helpful
- Innovative
- Reliable
- Entrepeneurial
Formal language
The second text style is the formal language we mentioned earlier. This solemn style is characterized by long, passive sentences with the verbs ‘have,’ ‘be,’ and ‘become’. This complex language may make us think we appear knowledgeable, but customers likely just think, “What is he talking about?”
Professional jargon
The third text style is the overuse of professional jargon. Technical terms are not off-limits. On the contrary, avoiding them altogether and being overly explanatory will give the customer the impression that they no nothing. However, excess is harmful, because the enthusiasm for your field may overshadow your message, losing a portion of decision-makers.
Tentative language
Tentative language is language where words like hope, believe, would, could, maybe, might, and probably appear.
“We hope to present you with a suitable proposal.”
Why hope? You should be confident that you’ve given the client your best proposal. Hope is delayed disappointment. Why the doubt? These are appropriately called words of doubt. The fewer of such words you use, the more concrete and convincing your proposal becomes. Don’t dwell too much on that one exception that might challenge your claim. The reader understands there are exceptions to the rule.
Make sure your proposal consist of clear text. Be persuasive and specific. . Write the kind of text you prefer reading yourself.